Anger leaves holes (unknown author)

Cinque Terre

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.

The day after day the boy had driven nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

What we should know about anger:

•  Anger is a completely normal, healthy human 

•  Being angry is an okay feeling

•  Anger is a reaction to hurt, loss and fearAnger can protect against painful feelings

•  The purpose of anger is to make a person aware that a problem exists

•  Anger can be both helpful and harmful

•  Anger tends to create more anger

•  Anger creates physical changes in body

•  Anger triggers energy in bodies which can’t be destroyed

•  People have a choice how to react to anger

•  What people expect from others has a big effect on how angry they get

•  People with sudden anger don’t feel better after they explode but they end up feeling

•  Anger is one of the hardest impulses to control

Anger becomes a problem when:

•  Anger gets out of control and turns destructive

•  Anger is not healthy processed

•  Anger becomes aggression

•  Anger sets illness such as migraines, irritable bowel syndrome and chronic pain

•  People with sudden anger lose impulse control issue

•  Long term frustration causes loss of emotional regulation problem and turns into aggression

•  Impatient people are quick to blow up at themselves and others

•  Sudden anger involves violent impulses

•  An angry person ignores sings that anger is building

•  People ignore their emotions and needs and let them turn in anger

•  People choose to act upon anger