How do you recognize difficult people?
If you want to feel good and happy you have to recognize difficult people. Those are challenging people stealing pleasure and happiness from others.
In slang we call them “emotional vampires” because they suck joy and optimism. They are disturbing people who make lives of others miserable and relationships with them are the most challenging.
Whatever you do and say according to them it is not alright. You try your best, different ways, do new things but it’s never right and enough for them. They leave you exhausted, puzzled, guilty, angry or sad. There are typical characteristics these demanding people share:
• They drain others because they believe there’s nothing wrong with them. They never admit mistakes. People and the world around them are problems not them.
• They use whatever tools and strategies to win and get what they want.
• Some of them are histrionic drama queens or kings stuck in the concept of victims. They vibrate “poor me” and people around them feel obligated to help them.
• They can’t see their own reflection in the mirror yet they see through everyone else.
• They are masters of manipulation and hiding. They don't show their real motivation and nobody dares to find it out.
• Some emotional vampires are perfectionists, obsessive or compulsive people who are “control freaks”. They are never satisfied and there’s no escape from their criticism.
• Antisocial and narcissistic vampires need excitement from constant admiration. They are superstars who play the lead in their own life story. They rarely do anything that is not self-serving.
If you want to be happy and feel good you have to be aware of these very difficult and challenging individuals. They don’t compromise and they don’t understand you. They lack empathy and they ignore your points of view. They use you for their purposes and do only what serves them. That’s how they suck happiness from you and make you feel empty and drained. Be aware of emotional vampires and choose wisely people around you if you want to feel good and be emotionally stable. Difficult people are anywhere. They might be people your care about, your friends, brothers or sisters, children or partners, co-workers or neighbours.
It needs a lot of work to maintain a relatively healthy relationship with emotional vampires. You have to use additional energy, direct effort and affirmed boundaries. Challenging people want you to take their sides. You can be alright if only you follow through your own values, you are assertive and you don’t fall in their emotional manipulation. If you deal with emotional vampires you must recognize that it is you who decides to play what emotional vampires orchestrate and it is you who decides to leave their game. Emotional vampires may be worth it or they may not. It is only you who determines it.